I thought I should make an appearance- so here I am! Fresh from revision hell. On the upside I’ve done eight of my GCSE’s, I’ve only got three exams to go and I’m now enjoying a week off.
It’s nice having time to myself as well, due to my schedule I do an exam in the morning, walk home and spend the rest of the day (well, until 4 in the afternoon) on my own. I have my music on really loud and dance up and down the hallway. I’ve been practising my gymnastics and doing the splits– I can almost touch the floor!
In slightly more relevant news, I’m writing an essay, it’s entitled: The Flaw in our Society: Why Lunatic Asylums Will Make a Comeback. And is about the stigma of mental illness, why it’s around, how we deal with it and why it is more dangerous than we realise.
I got the idea for the essay after thinking about one of my novels, which is set in a lunatic asylum (it’s still in the planning stages, I have several novels to write before I get to that one) and then thinking about how people respond to lunatic asylums now- I was then struck with the incredibly unsettling realisation that we don’t feel any remorse for what was done to those people, we’re too detached.
Anyway, I’m currently trying to do several things. I don’t have to revise for a few days so in that time I’m trying to plan novel number seven. One of the subplots of the novel is a string of disappearances, at the end the culprit is revealed and it turns out to be the person they all would least suspect. In fact, the culprit is so mysterious that I have no idea who they are, why they’re taking these people or even what they’re doing with them. As you can probably guess this does not bode well for the stories.
Another one of my writing woes is that I’ve really started getting into an idea I had for a huge, epic of a novel that I know will take me years to write. I can’t tell you the whole plot for fear of plagiarism, but I can tell you half the plot, it’s: The History of America.
Now that sounds rather grand and epic, which was exactly the effect I was aiming for- however I have now realised that in order to write the novel I will have to learn, in great detail, The History of America.
Well done Wren.
So, you should be seeing the above mentioned essay on this blog soon, and if you hang around for a couple of years I’ll direct you to my novels.
Another little nugget that’s cropped up in the past few days is the resentment I feel towards my parents. I’ll go into this in detail in another post, but right now I’ll just say that I’m angry at them for not being able to cope with my illness, for leaving me alone to face the voices and the strange men who live in the shadows of my bedroom. I’m angry at them for not being able to cope and always saying and doing the worst possible thing at the worst possible time.
Add to that the fact that the person who frightens me the most in the world is my dad and you’ve got a pretty stressed and screwed up little Wren.
There’s lots of stuff that’s bugging me at the moment, I feel like a pressure cooker that’s going to burst- I don’t know if that’s even technically possible but it’s late at night and I need to go and figure out who could be snatching random women of the streets of a secluded and generally creepy village.
Listening To: Mneme by Seventh Harmonic. I love the gospel feel to thier music and the drumbeat in the background. It gives the song a really strong base.