Work, Friends and Films

Whew, have had a hectic couple of days- as you can tell from the lack of posting.

Firstly I’d like to start by elaborating on my last post and saying that it turned out that the friend I was talking about was absent because she’d tried to top herself. Yeah, my friend tried to kill herself… actually, seeing it typed there is kind of sobering, I haven’t thought about it much and now seeing it there in black and white kind of brings home that it was a bit serious- but that’s for another post.

I had a good time on friday night, went out for a meal with my friends and then went back with some people to Jess’s house where we messed around for a few hours and ate junk food 😉 it was a nice, relaxing night.

Yesterday I was working- nothing glamourous, I distribute leaflets- for most of the afternoon. Got very sore feet and achey shoulders for my troubles, I’m spending next saturday looking for another job, hahaha. I don’t mind this one but I could earn more with less effort by doing something else- add to the fact that climbing up rickety fire escapes to get to letterboxes is not the best activity for someone who’s terrified of heights (I have to climb down on my bum, which is a little embarrassing…)

One highlight from yesterday was watching Howl’s Moving Castle– I’m shocked I’ve never seen it before, it’s completely amazingly awesome- I’m officially in love, hahaha! I’m going to hunt out the book and read that ASAP, so I’ll let you know what I think.

I’m now going to think about doing some coursework…

 

 

Being Taken For a Fool

“Everyone in here’s in a bad mood… except Michael, but he’s just sat making fish noises.”

Urgh.

I think that kind of sums up the last few days to be honest with you… the holidays finished, I went back to being a sixth former and occasional agony aunt- only to find that the agony aunt part of my life had sprouted wings and taken over.

And if that wasn’t bad enough I’ve got to deal with the omnipresent ‘To Do’ list, which is sitting on my life like a large sit-y thing.

Now, I’m used to dealing with stress and shit, so the fact that I’m sat griping about it therefore indicates that there must be something that’s pushed me over the edge- and trust me when I say it’s a fairly big ‘something’

I have a friend who is… well, depressed, self harming- suicidal. She’ll cry on me pretty much every other day and has been doing so since November-ish time. She’s my friend, I’m going to stick by her- even though all my other friends are telling me that she’s attention seeking and that I need to get away from her for the sake of my own mental health- I can’t justify walking away when I’m one of the few people left around her.

Sometimes she’ll not turn up at school for a few days and ignore my texts- obviously leading me to assume the worst- it gets even worse when I find out that she’s been replying to other people, just not me.

Today is one of those days.

Only it was made worse by the fact that yesterday morning she told me that she wanted to kill herself.

We had a chat at the time and I thought that I’d managed to make sure that she was going to be okay and that I would be seeing her the next day- but when she didn’t turn up today I kind of pissed myself- obviously ‘kind of pissed myself’ being an understatement; it’s more of a cold, creeping, sick feeling.

I’ve now managed to discover that she’s alive- she’s replying to one of my friends- but she’s completely ignoring me.

Right now I’m tired, I’m ill, my monthly cycle is really late, I have a tonne of work to do, I’ve been having splitting headaches- and I never have headaches- my memory is non-existent and I’m aching everywhere. I’ve spent the last five hours staring at my phone and feeling sick to my stomach with worry.

Sometimes I wish I was strong enough to walk away from her, to cut all ties and move on- but I can’t do that- I’m terrified of hurting her, I can’t just leave her to fend for herself, it just seems so cruel, to drop someone and walk away when they need help.

But right now I just feel used, I feel like she’s the puppet-master making me dance and that thought makes me furious.

*sigh* I don’t know what to do, I don’t think I ever will, it’s just one of those things where you have to be the bigger person and move on. Last time she did this I was fuming, this time I’m too tired to care.

Cheers for listening to my griping 😉 hopefully things will brighten up soon 😀

Ta for now, Wren x

When the Sewing Machine Gods Hate You: What To Do When Your Sewing Machine Breaks

I’m going to disclaimer this whole article by saying that I am in no way a qualified expert (I didn’t even do D&T at GCSE level) I’m speaking here from experience alone and take no responsibility for what happens to your machine 🙂 Oh, and I should also say that these instructions are based on my experiences of MY machine- which is a fairly uncomplicated model- and so you may have to use your own initiative when dealing with your own machine.

my baby sewing machine...

So… as you may or may not have noticed from the last post (no, not the Vera Lynn one- the one before that…) I had a little problem with my sewing machine that required me to don a Rosie the Riveter style headscarf and pick up a screwdriver- okay, so it was a tiny screwdriver- but I still got to look all cool and DIY-y (spellcheck is hating me now) 😉

Four hours of cleaning things and jiggling things and generally trying to work out what the hell was going on later and my sewing machine decided I’d worked hard enough to deserve a reward… and so started working again… I think… I haven’t actually tried changing the bobbin yet (I know it’s going to break again when I do that) but I’m kind of happy for the moment.

So (because for some reason I think that fiddling around with a broken machine for a few hours and getting it to slightly/kind of work gives me the credibility and experience to write this article…) here is the guide of what to do when the sewing machine gods hate you:

  1. Take foot up and remove material.
  2. Ascertain what part of your machine is broken
  3. Stare at part and try to work out what is wrong (yeah, sounding really professional here)
  4. Remove bobbin and thread
  5. Re-thread and… re-bobbin (?!) machine
  6. Try machine again
  7. If machine works then be happy… if machine still does not work then carry on to next step
  8. If British, make cup of tea. Biscuit optional.
  9. TURN MACHINE OFF AT THE PLUG
  10. Check the ‘troubleshooting’ page of your machine’s instructions manual- check the general parts of the instructions as well to make sure that you’re actually using it right!
  11. If problem is with needle/bobbin area get screwdriver and remove relevant panel (trickier than it sounds- especially when you don’t have a short-handled screwdriver)
  12. Clean out bobbin area (try removing bobbin wheel) and replace bobbin.
  13. Try it again.
  14. If it’s still broken then check out these articles and try wiggling things about in the relevant places: http://home.howstuffworks.com/sewing-machine1.htm or http://materialmama.wordpress.com/2007/02/06/how-a-bobbin-works-and-some-free-pattern-ideas/
  15.  If it’s not the bobbin area check whether it’s A) an electrical problem or B) something else (my expertise shining through once again)
  16. If it’s an electrical problem then you’re kind of screwed and unless you’re trained in those areas or know someone who is you’ll have to take it a proper scary repair person (should read: proper scary EXPENSIVE repair person)
  17. If it’s something else then try google-ing and employing relevantly talented family members/friends to come and look and wiggle things for you- if that fails then you’re on your own.
  18. If proper scary EXPENSIVE repair person can’t fix it then you’re screwed… sorry guys, just being honest there 😛

Remember, always employ common sense when dealing with these things and try to get a second opinion from whoever you have around- even if they’re not an expert, fresh eyes can often help spot something that you’ve just overlooked.

Further Reading:

http://home.howstuffworks.com/sewing-machine.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sewing_machine

http://sewing.about.com/od/sewingmachineindex/bb/sewingmachines.htm

Best of luck 😀

 

Because I Feel Like Lazarus

Oh wow- I just made a Biblical referance *le gasp*

Right, so I’m here, and I’m alive! My world has kind of radically changed in the last… actually, I don’t even want to think about how long it’s been since I last posted, it’ll kind of make me cringe.

I started sixth form and everything went right.

Yeah, you read that right- everything went RIGHT. I made some awesome new friends, became comfortable in myself and started to expand my social life.

I’ve decided that I can’t keep running from the past- the lack of posting in this blog is indicative of that, I can’t keep disowning things and saying ‘I’m not that person anymore, I can just walk away and disregard what I just did’ cos I can’t. I read back my posts and I know that was me- it sounds like me, it WAS me.

I shouldn’t really be keeping a blog- I keep a daily diary, write novels, am doing A-levels, keeping an active social life, have just got a job, am a practising Pagan, contortionist, drummer and world class procrastinator.

But that’s never really stopped me in the past, so here I am!

The thing that really made me sit down and write this is that I noticed that the blog has been having views, even though I haven’t been posting anything. If you’re one of those people then thanks, I appreciate it, if you’re a new reader then beware that anything before this post will be depressing- so sorry for that! I’m actually a pretty chipper person 😛

Ta for reading 😀
Wren x