Today is Samhain; the day when the veil between the living and the dead is at its thinnest (well, apart from Beltane) and spirits can pass through.
I love Samhain, it’s the part of the year that I feel most at home with. I love the darkness and the way that it can creep and consume us if we’re not careful. At this time of year we become more and more aware of the power of nature and how, even now, we’re controlled by it.
I just switched the lights on. I’ve been trying to fight the darkness all day, I don’t think it really got light today. I went out for a bit and have come back to find the flat in darkness. So the lights are on, I’m typing this up and then I’ll be heading to the store to pick up something for tea and some apples for my rituals.
It’s been a long time since I performed a Pagan ritual. I feel kind of bad about that- however, I think it was necessary. I have some time set aside tonight to go all out and do what I used to do on Samhain.
So, what finally kicked me out of the lazy rut I’ve been in for the past year or so?
I felt strange on Tuesday, I can’t really put it onto words, there was just something off. I lit some candles- candles that I’ve only actually used a few times- and one went out.
Okay, I’ll elaborate a little.
I have two identical pillar candles that I keep on my altar. The represent the Lord and the Lady. They’re almost identical in every way and have only been lit a handful of times. They were burning for about half an hour or so before one of them started to fizz loudly, it crackled and spluttered before going out completely.
I tried everything to relight it, I checked the wick and scraped away some of the wax, I tried moving it and making sure that it wasn’t being affected by the open window… eventually I called it a day and just left it.
A couple of hours later I tried again, and it lit with no problems.
For me this was like a wake-up call. I read my tarot cards, they gave me an insight into a few personal things that I need to think about, and sat for a while looking out at the sky and thinking about my Gods.
I was reminded strongly that whilst the Gods are always with me, they are powerful- more powerful than I could ever be or ever imagine. I love my faith, if I were to walk away from the Gods they would let me go, but I feel that they were offering me a gentle reminder of their power and how close the other-world is.
Have a blessed Samhain,