I have a friend who likes to fling around the phrase “you’ve changed!” as an insult.
I don’t really understand this, it’s something that upsets and annoys me. We’re all supposed to grow and change- who would want to be the person that they were when they were seventeen? Or thirteen? Or six???
We’re supposed to change. Change is good and needed; whether it happens suddenly or slowly, change should be welcomed and accepted.
Sometimes change is hard, sometimes it just feels right.
It really annoys me when my friend does this, he usually does it because he feels insecure that things have changed and left him behind. Unlike the majority of my friends I’ve chosen to stay in my home town to pursue my studies. I made this decision for a number of reason, mainly to save money.
I think that the people who go away expect the things and people that they leave behind to stay the same, so that when they comes back they can slip back into nostalgia. But that’s not the way things work. Everything moves and changes, things don’t just stay the same.
It can be frightening to see something that you’ve always viewed as stable change, it can take a while to understand that it’s necessary.
I’m glad that I’ve changed. I want to grow up, mature and get on with my life. I don’t want to be stuck in the past, clinging desperately on to it. It won’t help anyone- least of all me. People move on and change; sometimes they won’t want to be my friends anymore.
And that’s okay- yes, it hurts, and it’s allowed to hurt. But I’m filling my life with other people, people who I want to be friends with. I put effort into the relationships that are important to me and end those that aren’t.
We’re entering that time of the year when hundreds of thousands of young people are heading off into new chapters of their lives, and I think it’s important to remind everyone to relax, let go off the past for a little while and embrace the future.
Change is good; frightening- yes, but good.
’til next time,