Today I bought dungarees.
They are amazing and wonderful and cost me £2- I can’t wait for winter so that I can wear them all of the time.
That was one of the good points of today; the other points were a bit shitty.
I’m getting to a point now where I’m stressed, I have a big exam on Thursday and if I fail then I’m screwed, I’m also dealing with lots and lots of really shitty people at the moment. One of my pet hates is people who are passive-aggressive; I mean, either hate me or me nice to me- is it too hard to ask? If I don’t like you then I guarantee you’ll soon know about it. I don’t like holding people in the dark.
My job is driving me up the wall, I’m only keeping on with it for the money but I’m scouring the job sites in search of something that doesn’t make me want to cry all of the time. It’s long and boring and frankly pretty horrible. I don’t like the attitudes of the people that I work with. I don’t like the way that they treat me like I’m lazy; I work my job for four hours three times a week and then I go and spend the rest of my day rehearsing/working on other things. At the moment I spend my evenings going to Ripley to do Front of House (unpaid) for a local theatre company. I work my arse off and quite frankly I’m tired.
Yes, I know I’m whining- but screw it, it’s my blog and I’ll cry if I want to.
Everyone has limits; my boss wants me to work this weekend- I’m not going to. I have no excuse, but I’ve had one day off in the last four weeks and I’m exhausted. My life at the moment seems to happen in the dry spells between crying sprees and I need some time to recover. My tutor has made our course go on until the 1st August purely to spite us (you think I’m lying… think again) which means that I’ve got to man up and get through another month of this relentless hell.
Sometimes we get tired, sometimes we get angry- and sometimes I get bloody fed up of not being treated like a human being. My colleagues talk down to me and treat me like a sulking teenager (reading this back… maybe they’re right) my boss thinks I’m lazy, one of my course mates has turned into a passive aggressive bitch and my tutor enjoys playing mind games.
I’m tired. I want to go to bed now.
’til next time,