You’ve spent days googling, reading every little thing you can get your hands on, you’ve spoken to friends who’ve probably pulled faces and changed the subject, you’ve taken a walk to be with nature- you might have even spoken to other Pagans, however it’s happened, however you’ve done it, the outcome is the same…
You’ve had the great epiphany: you want to be a Pagan!
Right now is an incredible time, it’s terrifying and mad and you’re sat waiting for the perfectly timed crash of thunder that will assure you that the Gods are accepting you, you’re waiting for the sky to open up and a giant parade of… wait, okay- so that’s not going to happen… you’ve had the epiphany and you’re sat, waiting- waiting for something, only you’re not quite sure what’s going to happen now- so let me break it down for you:
- You’re going to spend the next two or three years spending all your money on books and chalices and fancy wands and random crap that you think you need.
- You’re going to single handedly open up a Pagan library in your room/office.
- You’re going to accumulate a hell of a lot of silver jewelry.
- You’re going to send twenty billion desperare ‘I know I’m Pagan but I don’t know how to do this or what’s supposed to happen now- HELP ME!’ emails to various Pagan-y people.
- You’re going to try and meditate… you’re going to think you’re making it up until something totally weird happens and you realise that your head is a stranger place than you’d first imagined.
- You’re going to hold a ritual.
- You’re going to feel a bit stupid stood alone in the darkness drawing an imaginary circle.
- You’re going to screw up the first circle (come on, anyone who says they got any part of their first solitary ritual right is a liar!)
- You’re going to have a crisis of faith and think that the Gods are wishful thinking.
- You’re going to cut the crap and go for a walk in the rain.
- You’re going to feel the Gods.
- You’re probably now going to shit yourself slightly… and try that ritual again, this time you feel it- y’know, IT.
- You’re going to calm down and go with the flow of your newly Pagan life… for a while.
- You’re going to meet other Pagans… and you’re going to feel REALLY STUPID in comparison.
- You’re going to feel like this for the next five years. Then you start feeling comfortably stupid.
- After about half a decade you’re going to feel comfortable in your faith.
- Then you’re going to be a Pagan.
Helpful? Haha, that’s more of an introspection of the last six years of my life- personally, only now am I starting to feel properly and comfortably Pagan. I think that on a personal level it helped me to A) surround myself with atheists and B) take a philosophy course- as a very ‘religious’ Pagan I think that’s helped me hugely to get a grasp of my own beliefs and also means that I can calmly deflect all scorn from the you-believe-in-fairies?!?? brigade.
If you’ve just started out in Paganism/Druidry and want to ask me any questions; go ahead! I love talking about my faith and keenly remember how daunting it was to start out- so feel free to leave a comment or email me privately- I’m sure my address is hanging around on here somewhere.