Pagan Blog Project: Test of Faith

I have barely had enough time to eat today, so this post is coming as a surprise to us all ūüėČ

I have a strong belief that you can’t have a strong opinion unless that opinion has been tested, for example I strongly support euthanasia but have only spoken out about it since almost losing my Auntie last year- I had to watch my family make the decision to turn off her life support, and even though she came out of the coma (it was a medical miracle) I still think we made the right decision in choosing to end her life.

We learn a lot from having our faith tested- I think it makes it a hell of a lot stronger and makes us feel like we can rely on ourselves a lot more.

Since I self-initiated¬†back in… *thinks hard* the Gods alone remember when… I’ve been tested a hell of a lot, I’ve been through deaths, depression, psychosis, bullying, sexual molestation, unrequited love and had to deal with putting my life back together. I can say hand on heart that I believe in the Gods, the Fey, the spirits and magick- not because I’m a naive child who hasn’t experienced the world but because I’ve seen the world and these things have been shown to be again and again, my faith in the Gods pulled me through these things.

Every professional I’ve ever seen has said that I have some kind of inner strength, I attribute this to my faith, to my Gods. When people question my religion it doesn’t bother me- my philosophy teacher once said that he could disprove Paganism in about a minute. I shrugged and told him to go ahead, nothing he could say could make me doubt the thing that kept me strong through so much.

What’s weird about being a Pagan (and therefore seeing the Gods as not omnibenevolent) is that it would be easy to blame the Gods for things that go wrong-¬†but I can say honestly that I never have. When my Auntie was ill I remember kneeling down by my altar and asking why it had happened-¬†all I got from the Gods was the most sincere apology I have ever received, and I’ll remember that moment forever as one of the most raw and touching responses my patroness has ever given me.

We all have things that we cling onto in our darkest moments-¬†whether they’re people, memories or faith- but I think these things reveal a hell of a lot about us as people.

’til next time,

Wren x

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