I don’t even know how to start talking about the last few days- it’s all been so crazy. I think I’ll start from the top and work my way down…
You’ll have noticed that I missed my usual Pagan Blog Project post on friday, something that I’m kind of annoyed about- but that was down to the fact that I was out having a birthday tea with my Grandma (she’s 88!) and then had to go to an all night rave/party.
The party was hell. I’m not going to lie- it was honestly awful, everyone ended up crying and I really lost my temper with Jess. She shouldn’t have been drinking after what happened last weekend, I looked her in the eye and told her not to drink the vodka, she swore at me and downed it. She then proceeded to be a complete bitch for the rest of the night which included swearing and yelling at me when I took her phone off her (she was throwing it on the stone floor to try and smash it) and when I was trying to stop a friend of mine sending drunk texts that he would really regret.
Unfortunately I had a little cry at one point- as in, I teared up and then swallowed it down pretty quickly- Callum tried to make me come home with him, saying that he didn’t want to leave me to deal with such a dire situation but I declined as I had to give Jess and Claire lifts home in the morning.
Me and Claire stayed up all night talking and doing random shit to try and stay awake- the highlight was when we went around trying to put the sleeping people in the recovery position without them waking up- and attacked the remains of Jess’s phone with a screwdriver when it started making an ungodly noise at 4am.
Spent saturday sleeping, having a driving lesson (I know, I was a bit worried about being behind the wheel in that state) and doing a shit load of baking. Yesterday we had a birthday tea for my Grandma and Auntie which was really nice, I had a good time.
This morning I hauled my arse out of bed and went to my CAMHS appointment- first one in five and a half months where I expressed my displeasure by initially saying nothing and being unco-operative. They responded by speaking in slow, whispering tones and making me feel generally really unnerved. I told them that I was pissed off with them and that I hated myself for attending the session- I made it very clear that I was only there because I want to give myself the best chance possible at a normal life and that I disliked them and CAMHS intensely.
The session was with the psychiatrist and the guy-who-I-got-with’s Mother. She seems alright- patronising and simple, but I can live with that.
And yeah. I am a bitch.
Anyway, after that I went shopping, got myself some slips and went scouring through the charity shops, snagged myself two skirts (oh yeah, they are fairly awesome) spied a few cool hats and got a job…
Sorry Wren.. what was that last bit?
Oh yeah… erm, I kind of volunteered to do some volunteering…
That’s right people- I have volunteered for MORE unpaid work! What part of ‘I need to earn money this summer’ got lost on the way from my brain to my mouth?
To be fair I don’t think my brain was involved at all, it was a place I’d looked into volunteering at before but never heard back from- I went in today (and got a skirt) and was faced with a highly lovely man on the till… you can probably work out what happened next… the upside is I may end up working with him, so summer may not be so lonely after all 😉
At the moment I need to hand in my form for volunteering and then I’m going out with some friends tonight (yay- people!) I should also probably let Jess know that I’m angry at her- being pissed at someone doesn’t work if they don’t know you’re pissed at them.
Hope you’re all enjoying the sun! (Yeah- the sun is back in England!)
’til next time,