It’s that time of the week when I stop bleating about my daily life (did I mention that in a fit of girly despair I spent last night sat in front of the telly watching rom coms and eating cereal from the packet?… No?… Oh, forget that…)
Anyway, this week we’re finishing with the letter J and moving onto easier planes, but for now I’m going to ramble on about jealousy and maybe learn how to spell the bloody word by the end of this post.
I’m a jealous person, I’m not even going to pretend to lie- I mean, I could sit here and talk about how I’m above all that and that the only thing I care about is that I pray to my Gods… but that’s bullshit, I’m human, I’m allowed my flaws.
I’m naturally a very jealous person, I don’t know why, it’s just that there have always been people markedly better than me and so it’s natural that I’m jealous of them.
My stance is that jealousy’s perfectly natural, so long as you don’t let it get to you too much… it’s a normal thing so long as you’re able to brush it off at the end of the day. Don’t become fixated with people or things that you’re jealous of, it’ll only end in tears or you coming across as a bitch.
I’ve been jealous of a lot of things in my life, of other people’s success, of how many friends they have, of how pretty they are or how nice their clothes are. I’ve been jealous that my friends are all in relationships when I’m left single and alone.
I’m jealous of people who don’t have the past that I have, of normal people; but I think that’s something that’s understandable to a degree and so I let myself off on that.
I went through a phase of being incredibly jealous quite recently, it stemmed from the fact that I tend to be part of a group of five which is made up of me and two couples. I was insanely jealous of my two best (girl) friends who now have boyfriends (who happen to be my two best (boy) friends) it left me feeling cut off and alone and I’d constantly be left sitting alone. It stung a lot, but after a while I realised that the situation wasn’t going to change, I didn’t want a boyfriend just so I wouldn’t feel alone, I took a step away from my friends, met new people and got out into the world. At the end of the day I had to let go of all the jealousy I felt and move on, because it was starting to drag me down and make everything hurt. It wasn’t easy, not at all, but at the end of the day it was the best thing to do in the long term.
It’s okay to be jealous so long as you realise that you’re not the only one, for all the jealousy that you feel towards everyone someone somewhere in your life will feel that towards you- jealousy doesn’t mean anything, it’s like sneezing or smiling, everyone does it without even thinking, it’s not important.
Don’t become fixated, it’s an unimportant feeling, it makes you feel bad and accomplishes nothing. Next time you feel jealous just take a step back, let the feeling wash over you and drift away- don’t let it get under your skin.