Because I’m too Busy to Cry…

So… I feel like I’ve been absent for a while… nevermind, I’ll ramble on about something now 🙂

Mental health wise it’s been middle-ing, I’ve been a bit tearful and stressed, if I try and think about anything past the next hour or so I begin to have a panic attack- which is never a good thing.

I’m trying to focus on tangible things at the moment to give myself some structure, I’ve been revising a lot, I stared on sunday- I know, the second day of the holidays and I started working! I’m quite smug. I’ve managed to keep it up so far but need to stay focussed for the next week and a half if I don’t want to have a major break-down.

I’m a little worried about everything, at the moment I feel very much like the woman who’s just stuffed everything into the wardrobe and is leaning against the bulging doors whistling casually. Sooner or later the doors will burst open and the crap will spill out- but right now I’m having a good time pretending everything’s normal.

I’m in an odd world at the moment, I’m currently spending my free time working through an impressive reading list (some of it’s rereading.)

The reading is giving structure to my free time, so I don’t have time to sit and think about the situation. I’ve managed to get CAMHS to back off for another week or so (until I’m back at school) I’m putting it off because I know I’m going to lose my rag at them, I really am going to lose my temper. I’m one of those people who doesn’t lose their temper a lot (I get angry quite a bit- I just don’t show it) and when I do I kind of really pull out all the stops.

So there we have it, one industrious, stressed, angry, determined and distracted Wren…

’til next time,

Wren x

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One thought on “Because I’m too Busy to Cry…

  1. I can relate to the feeling of leaning against a bulging wardrobe door, but sometimes it is the only option. I’ve got to do that sometimes, just hold everything in until I can think of a game plan and how long that takes is always a little unknown. Good that you are throwing yourself into reading, getting structure and keeping your mind busy is so important, well it works for me anyway. 🙂

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